What is love?

16 10 2009

One of the topics discussed in class the other day that stood out was mail-order brides.  As I tried to self-dissect this topic, it amazed me at how much I didn’t know, so I decided to check the web to gain more information.  As I typed Philippines mail-order brides, it surprised me that there were actual sites that had brides “for the taking.”  One site had the following to say about the mail-order brides:

Asian brides personals and lonely hearts classifieds of 5,372 beautiful women from Cebu, Manila, the Philippinese and worldwide. Asian brides advertisements are from sincere women who seek love, romance and potiential marriage from the men who choose them as penpals form international correspondence. Asian brides is a term that indicates long distance letter writing between the opposite sex. I does not mean that our member plans to marry. Having said that we are proud to report that many happy marriages have occured this way. (http://www.acebubride.com/)


Still I am stunned that in the past women were placed in catalogs and chosen at a male’s interest, like a meal on a menu.  Today, the internet replaced the catalogs, with women and men being advertised as singles that are looking for love.  The last few sentences of that advertisement made me think, “they” do not plan to marry, but yet it is reported that “happy” marriages seemed to have happened this way.  Is this way of matchmaking, legit?  How effective are these sites?  Do people actually find LOVE when they are matched like this?  I know for a fact that there unethical setbacks to mail-order brides and it usually derives a negative connotation.  Many of these site have a “money-back guarantee,” which appalled me.  People are placed on these sites and if someone thinks that their bride isn’t up to par or does not fit his standard, then he could simple return the bride.  These are human-beings that we are talking about, how could someone put themselves out there and be tossed around like they had no importance.  We are not placed in this world to be traded like baseball cards.  No one deserves the right to be labeled in that sense and be ostracized due to their flaws.  Many of these ladies that are rejected then have this mind-set that they are not worthy of any marriage and begin to think low of themselves. 

However, sometimes men are the victims.  My uncle had a mail-order bride, but this was one of those things that his family and friends in the Philippines set up.  He went to the Philippines and decided to spend some time with this young lady.  Eventually he fell I love and from there, decided to bring her to the United States.  Long story short, her intention was jus to marry him to come to the United States.  Some women force themselves into these marriages to gain access into the United States.  They marry for the wrong reason and stories like these makes others question the true meaning of marriage.  Regardless if mail-order brides have a positive aspect, there has been much debate on this matchmaking organization.  Women have been placed in marriages that failed, many of these women have been abused or even sadly died from men that take advantage of mail-order brides.  Then again, there are males that are on these sites for good intentions, who respect these women and view them as human beings, and apparently fell in love with the person that only use them for their money and much more.  Nonetheless, mail-order brides have stirred up commotion within different countries and surprisingly organizations are now taking a stand to protect the rights of people, in either situations.  Hopefully in the near future, better regulations could be placed on this issue and mail-order brides could regain a better intention.

-April Tungpalan



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